*and don't you find it sad that we can't even say hello cause you're a man and im a woman and the sun is getting low*
so beth told me to update my aim and now i have aol radio, and can i just say it is the most amazing thing ever. i am currently listening to "wonder" by natalie merchant and life is good.
course today was horrible. i used to have days like this in high school when i would come home and literally cry until i felt better. of course you can't do that here or someone will try to send you to health services or to a shrink. though beth would understand.
i was so close to tears today, as i have been since yesterday, and i really just need a good cry. but the problem is that the big things won't make me cry. it will be over something little like at lunch today when i had put my backpack on a chair and tim took it cause i guess someone else had decided to sit there. and instead of saying that to me he just moves my bag and hands it to me with this expression on his face like "stupid, you can't have this chair"
of course i had just had all the shit happen with the music school so im sure i was a little out of it and not paying attention but i almost started crying right then and there. and then i stopped and regained my composer and realized that that was so stupid. its a damn chair and i didn't want to sit next to them anyways.
but still. maybe ill make myself cry tonight just to get it out. i love a good cry. it cleanses the soul.
oh my god there is an all led zeppelin channel. how amazing is this thing! so great.
so i hate the music school. they can be so evil sometimes. but whatever ill get over it. shit happens in life and this is my choosen path so i guess ill just have to deal. but still do they have to make it so difficult? really. come on now.
croons : "i said baby, you know im gonna lleaaaveee you*
oh i love them. ahh. so super sweet.
dinner tonight was hilarious. and eventful. its strange to have brian back (sounds like he was dead lol) but its great because i missed his quiet sweetness and random comments. he has to be one of the nicest guys ive ever met. ever. and those freshman girls who came over to talk to him were HILARIOUS. im glad i was never like that last year. and im glad i never made out with an upperclassman...besides austin but he doesn't count. lol hes austin, as much as we love him. he'll always be just austin.
*been here before, been here before couldn't say i liked it. Do i start writing all this down? Just let me plug you into my world. Can't you help me be uncrazy? Name this for me, heat the cold air. Take the chill off of my life and if i could I'll turn my eyes. To look inside to see whats coming. It comes alive, and i die a little more. It comes alive, each moment here i die a little more. Then the unnamed feeling, it comes alive. then the unnamed feeling, takes me away* ~metallica
ahh in retrospect today wasn't all that bad. i did get to take an amazingly long nap this afternoon til like 5 30 when i had to get up to go to dinner. if it hadn't been raining outside i would have been running around or doing my huge amount of homework that i have due. but alas it was raining and i was sleepy so i slept.
i shouldn't have been tired though i went to bed at 2 which is amazinly early for me. and it wasn't like i was working til 2 i was just goofing off. oh well.
my written journals are so angry. i love it.
i was just reading over some old stuff for kicks. man if only i put all that energy towards something useful.
okay i need to shower. cause god knows i won't want to do it tomorrow morning. i have a feeling its going to be a long long night.
i love you.
each and every one of you.
only love for you.
course today was horrible. i used to have days like this in high school when i would come home and literally cry until i felt better. of course you can't do that here or someone will try to send you to health services or to a shrink. though beth would understand.
i was so close to tears today, as i have been since yesterday, and i really just need a good cry. but the problem is that the big things won't make me cry. it will be over something little like at lunch today when i had put my backpack on a chair and tim took it cause i guess someone else had decided to sit there. and instead of saying that to me he just moves my bag and hands it to me with this expression on his face like "stupid, you can't have this chair"
of course i had just had all the shit happen with the music school so im sure i was a little out of it and not paying attention but i almost started crying right then and there. and then i stopped and regained my composer and realized that that was so stupid. its a damn chair and i didn't want to sit next to them anyways.
but still. maybe ill make myself cry tonight just to get it out. i love a good cry. it cleanses the soul.
oh my god there is an all led zeppelin channel. how amazing is this thing! so great.
so i hate the music school. they can be so evil sometimes. but whatever ill get over it. shit happens in life and this is my choosen path so i guess ill just have to deal. but still do they have to make it so difficult? really. come on now.
croons : "i said baby, you know im gonna lleaaaveee you*
oh i love them. ahh. so super sweet.
dinner tonight was hilarious. and eventful. its strange to have brian back (sounds like he was dead lol) but its great because i missed his quiet sweetness and random comments. he has to be one of the nicest guys ive ever met. ever. and those freshman girls who came over to talk to him were HILARIOUS. im glad i was never like that last year. and im glad i never made out with an upperclassman...besides austin but he doesn't count. lol hes austin, as much as we love him. he'll always be just austin.
*been here before, been here before couldn't say i liked it. Do i start writing all this down? Just let me plug you into my world. Can't you help me be uncrazy? Name this for me, heat the cold air. Take the chill off of my life and if i could I'll turn my eyes. To look inside to see whats coming. It comes alive, and i die a little more. It comes alive, each moment here i die a little more. Then the unnamed feeling, it comes alive. then the unnamed feeling, takes me away* ~metallica
ahh in retrospect today wasn't all that bad. i did get to take an amazingly long nap this afternoon til like 5 30 when i had to get up to go to dinner. if it hadn't been raining outside i would have been running around or doing my huge amount of homework that i have due. but alas it was raining and i was sleepy so i slept.
i shouldn't have been tired though i went to bed at 2 which is amazinly early for me. and it wasn't like i was working til 2 i was just goofing off. oh well.
my written journals are so angry. i love it.
i was just reading over some old stuff for kicks. man if only i put all that energy towards something useful.
okay i need to shower. cause god knows i won't want to do it tomorrow morning. i have a feeling its going to be a long long night.
i love you.
each and every one of you.
only love for you.
